Keep Purring

“If a space alien were to land and say that no more flies should be killed, would you honor that request?”

“That’s an appeal from authority and would be an argument from fallacy.”

“Perhaps this being knows something that you don’t.”

“Then he or she— or it— can explain why.”

“Perhaps it’s a matter beyond your comprehension.”

“Try me.”

“OK. It pertains to maintaining balance, avoiding chaos.”

“You mean with the food chain?”

“Something like that.”

“Well, I’d want to know more.”

“There isn’t time for that.”

“I’m intrigued, and by knowing more and understanding it, I may be able to become an active participant. You know, become part of the solution rather than contributing to the problem.

“Your participation would be to just… stop killing flies.”

“Participation can include educating others, but I would need more to go on than mere instructions.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. That might cause more harm than good.”

“Or do you mean to imply that it would be just me alone that should stop killing flies.”

“However you’d like.”

“This isn’t about flies, is it?”

“No, actually.”

“What then?”

“Cats.”

“Hey! I don’t harm cats!”

“No. More important than that– keep them purring regularly.”

“What?”

“I can’t explain. Not that you wouldn’t understand but because the concepts don’t exist in your language or culture.”

“Keep talking.”

“There is a fundamental component to the reality of this universe that– let’s say– requires at least one cat to be purring in approximately each time zone.”

“Any cat?”

“No, there are very specific ones. Yours is among the few.”

“Well, she always seemed as if she was more entitled than other cats, which is saying a lot.”

“Yes. Let’s just say that she is traveling incognito.” Both laugh.

“Wait. What about areas of the globe with little population, such as between Russia and Alaska? I doubt there would be enough residents on… on… oh, Saint Lawrence Island to keep it going there.”

“Those angles are unimportant.”

“So let me get this straight. I need to keep my cat purring as much as possible to maintain something about the fabric of reality in this obscure part of the galaxy, yet I shouldn’t be telling others to do the same for their cats because that might interfere somehow?”

“That just about sums it up, yes.”

“And all I have to go on is your word?”

“More or less.”

“Who are you, again?”

“I realize that we haven’t been properly introduced, but you can call me Drof.”

“That’s just a name. Who are you? Are you the space alien of which you speak?”

“Perhaps.”

“You’re pulling my leg, right?”

“But what if it’s true?”